


i dont feel well enough to think of a title

by Mystrothedefender



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Transgender, transgender Batman, transgender Joker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2019-05-14 11:34:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14768813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mystrothedefender/pseuds/Mystrothedefender
Summary: Batman? Trans? You know it! Too bad the poor guy forget to take his T and now is on his period oh dear oh dear. Maybe Joker can help him.





	i dont feel well enough to think of a title

Batman crossed his legs as he sat on the roof on one of Gotham’s many skyscrapers, he closed his eyes, screwing them up in pain.

He didn’t want to be there.

He wanted to be at home, curled up in bed, hugging a heat pad, drugged up to his eyeballs.

Somehow, the past few weeks, he’d gotten so busy that he’d forgotten to take his T, and now his body was rebelling against him.

He could only pray that tonight would be quiet.

He didn’t want to push himself too hard.

The last thing he wanted was someone cottoning on or suspecting something.

If he were lucky they’d just assume he was ill.

Nobody knew he was trans, there was nothing to make them suspect.

They’d just assume he was ill.

He jolted, his eyes springing open, at a harsh squeaking sound in his ear. He let out a soft growl, waiting for his com to adjust to the signal.

‘ _The Joker was sighted on the docks’_ Alfred’s voice finally said.

Batman pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Thankyou,” he replied, frustration in his voice.

‘ _Sir, are you sure you’ll be ok?’_ Alfred asked.

Batman clicked off the com. He didn’t want to talk to Alfred. He knew none of this was his fault, but he was angry, irrationally.

He made his way to the docks, it took a lot more energy from him than it usually would. Perhaps he wouldn’t be able to fight Joker.

His mind was muddled, he wasn’t sure if he could be diplomatic with him.

But he couldn’t just leave him there.

He had to at least try.

He couldn’t let this ruin his day, ruin all the work he’d put in so far.

He began to walk down the sea front, there were many seasonal cafes and shops which were deserted now. Joker was most likely in one of them.

Hopefully he wouldn’t have to search through all of them to find him, that would be a waste of time and energy.

He opened the door to one and walked in, panting softly, he could feel his body shaking.

Perhaps he should have stayed at home.

“Batsy,” a voice cooed from across the shop.

Joker’s voice.

It sent a shudder down Batman’s spine, and suddenly he felt like crying.

He definitely should have stayed at home.

“Joker,” Batman replied, his voice was shaky as wells as his body and he knew Joker would pick up on it.

At the word Joker’s face fell, his eyebrows raising. “Oh Bats, are you sick?” a soft grin came to his face. “You poor little darling,” he chuckled.

Batman grit his teeth, his stomach clenching. “What are you doing out of Arkham, Joker?” he asked bluntly.

Joker shrugged, “This and that, nothing _bad_ ,” he chuckled softly. He looked Batman up and down, “You _are_ sick, Batman, you’re almost as pale as me!” He took a few steps forward, his eyes narrowing.

“I’m not sick,” Batman growled, his fists clenching as a stab of pain shot through his gut.

Joker reached out, putting a hand to Batman’s chin, his eyes studying his face. “ _Sweetheart_ ,” he cooed, “You look upset.”

Batman let out a growl, shoving Joker back. The movement took a lot of energy, the world began to spin around him.

Joker let out a laugh as he stumbled back, straightening himself up, raising his fists. “No need to get violent, Bats.”

Batman took a step forward, lifting his fists to match Joker’s.

He ducked backwards slightly as Joker aimed a punch at him.

As he stepped back Joker’s face fell to a frown again, he cocked his head slightly and lowered his fists. “You really aren’t well are you..?” he said quietly, smiling in disbelief. He shook his head, letting out a huff, “Good,” he said bluntly, “I’m not really in the mood to fight today,” he said, his voice turning slightly more serious, “And I’ve got a feeling you aren’t either.” He frowned, “Truth be told, Batsy, I’m not feeling well either, I just came in here to get some chocolate. I intended to pay, I even brought money!”

Batman let out a slow breath, his eyes closing for a moment as he tried to regain control of his rebelling body.

Chocolate sounded good.

A frown slowly came to his face as he thought to himself.

Joker had been out of Arkham for almost a month, he’d been in hiding, no one had seen him in that time.

Why would he leave to get chocolate?

“You’re lying,” Batman stated.

Joker shook his head, pulling his wallet out of his pocket and showing Batman a few notes.

“Why would you leave you come out of hiding to buy chocolate?” he asked slowly.

Joker blushed and shrugged, “That’s personal, Batsy.”

Batman took a fumbled step forward, grabbing Joker by the collar, “Unless you want me to take you back to Arkham right now you’ll tell me the truth.”

Joker’s eyes flicked down to Batman’s hand. He let out a soft whine and pushed it away effortlessly. “Bats…” he said slowly, “You know my medical history,” a soft smile began to spread across his face, “What exactly do think might happen to me after a month that would make me want chocolate?”

Batman’s hands dropped to his side, a frown coming to his face. “Your medical history..?” he asked.

Joker nodded slowly, “Yes, Batman, you know my medical history.”

Batman looked him up and down, his teeth gritting.

“You…” he said slowly, his stomach twisting in pain again. There was no way that that were true. That would be too much of a coincidence.

He had to be lying.

“How did you know,” he growled, gritting his teeth.

Joker frowned, “How did I know…” his face split into a mocking grin, “Well the cramps were the first sign, the mood swings, the chills, but then the _bleeding_ , that was a dead giveaway.”

Batman growled, anger rising suddenly in him again, “Stop fucking with me, Joker.”

Joker’s grin fell, a frown coming to his face, “I don’t have the energy to fuck with you, Bats. What’s gotten under your… skin…” His eyes slowly dragged over Batman, crossing his arms and shaking his head.

“You’re…” he chuckled weakly in disbelief, “No, _you’re_ fucking with _me_ , Bats. You’re Batman, you-you can’t be.”

“Can’t be what?”

Joker let out a soft coo, “Poor baby Batman,” he winked, “You need some chocolate too?”

Batman clenched his fists again, “Joker.”

Joker shook his head, tutting and smiling, “You seem like the type of boy who’s not used to this. Chocolate is the perfect cute, and painkillers, lots of them.”

“I need to think clearly,” Batman retorted weakly. He was trying to keep his attention on Joker but truthfully all he wanted to do was sit down, he felt too dizzy and weak.

Joker rolled his eyes, “You really think you can think clearly when you’re in this much pain? You can’t even throw a punch!”

He turned and walked to one of the shop counters, picking out a small pack of painkillers and a few bars of chocolate, handing them out for Batman to take.

“How do I know you didn’t tamper with them before I got here?” Batman asked stubbornly.

Joker rolled his eyes, “Don’t be such a child.” He took a couple of painkillers and popped them into his mouth, swallowing them and then sticking his tongue out, proving he’d had them.

“Eat them,” he said, his voice cold. “You’re no fun like this.”

Batman let out a weak growl, taking 2 pills and gulping them down.

“Good boy,” Joker said with a smile. “You’ll want that chocolate too. It’ll help with your cramps and help stop the mood swings, and don’t tell me you aren’t having those.” He opened one of the chocolate bars and took a bite, his eyes on Batman as he watched him do the same.

“In about half an hour you’ll probably feel better,” Joker grinned. “You really don’t know what to do, do you?”

Batman paused, chewing his mouthful of chocolate before shaking his head.

“I’ll bet you never even had a period before, you’re one of those lucky fuckers who got put on puberty blockers and went straight on T…” he sat down, picking up the bottle of fizzy drink on the table ad taking a long slow sip. “Most people aren’t so lucky,” he said, a growl to his voice.

Batman frowned, he looked Joker up and down, deciding after a moment that it would be ok to sit.

“I’ve been lucky,” he said.

Joker blew a raspberry, “Lucky my foot. You’ve been _rich_.” He let out a soft growl and hen shook his head.

Slowly a smile came to his face, a weak chuckle leaving him. “Oh, darling, I’m sorry,” he said quietly.

“It’s ok,” Batman said stiffly.

“It’s hard not to be mad when it’s something I go through so often,” Joker stated.

Batman swallowed hard, his eyes dropping to the table for a moment. He felt so ill, he couldn’t imagine feeling like this once a month. He didn’t want to feel like this ever again.

“Volunteer yourself to Arkham, Joker,” Batman said quietly, his eyes lifting to look at Joker again.

Joker raised an eyebrow, “What..?”

“I can pay for your transition, everything you need.”

Joker’s eyes widened, “Pardon?”

“I know that they’re reluctant to give you testosterone in Arkham because it’s so costly. I can make sure you get it. Your surgeries too.”

Joker let out a weak chuckle, “That’s nice of you, but why on earth would you do that?”

“Because you’re helping me.”

“If you knew everything why haven’t you offered before?” Joker smiled slyly.

Batman grit his teeth again, his eyes moving back down.

Joker let out a weak laugh, he got to his feet and walked towards the door. “You better keep your word, Bats.”

“I will,” Batman said, watching as Joker walked to the door. “Straight to Arkham,” he said sternly.

Joker turned back to him, giving a hard nod, a determined look on his face.

Batman frowned, “I’ll know if you don’t, and if you don’t the deals off.”

Joker pouted, “You put a tracker on me didn’t you..?” he rolled his eyes, “You’re no fun, Bats, you know that.” He flashed a smile at him, “Get well soon.”

Batman let out a breath as the door closed, letting himself smile a little as he finished off the last of the chocolate.

He’d check the Joker’s location once his was back in the batmobile, he hoped Joker would go to Arkham. He was looking forward to going home.


End file.
